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How can I form and keep a friends group?
Shaista Ansari
Forming and maintaining a strong friend group can be both rewarding and challenging. Building connections while balancing them with other commitments requires intentionality and clear communication. Here are some tips that can help you navigate these situations: Building Your Friend Group: Find commRead more
Forming and maintaining a strong friend group can be both rewarding and challenging. Building connections while balancing them with other commitments requires intentionality and clear communication. Here are some tips that can help you navigate these situations:
Building Your Friend Group:
Find common ground: Join clubs, classes, or online communities based on your interests. This is a great way to meet people who share your passions and values.
Be open and approachable: Initiate conversations with people you meet in everyday life. Strike up a chat at the coffee shop, join a work social event, or say hello to your neighbor.
Nurture connections: Once you meet someone interesting, invite them for coffee, a walk, or an activity you both enjoy. Consistent efforts build stronger bonds.
Embrace diversity: Don’t limit yourself to people who are “just like you.” Branch out and connect with individuals from different backgrounds and experiences. This enriches your life and perspective.
Maintaining Healthy Boundaries:
Practice assertive communication: Express your needs and desires clearly and respectfully. It’s okay to say “no” to invitations if you need time for yourself, family, or work.
Schedule quality time: Plan specific outings or activities with friends, but also block out time for solo pursuits or family obligations. Avoid feeling obligated to fill every free moment with socializing.
Set expectations: Talk openly about your preferred communication styles and frequency. Do you prefer quick text updates or deeper conversations? Knowing each other’s expectations avoids misunderstandings.
Offer alternatives: If you can’t attend an event, suggest another time or activity that works for you. Show your interest in connecting while respecting your boundaries.
Friend groups evolve: Don’t be afraid to let go of relationships that no longer serve you or drain your energy. Focus on fostering connections with people who uplift and support you.
Quality over quantity: It’s better to have a few close friends who truly understand and support you than a large circle of acquaintances.
Balance is key: Prioritize your well-being. Make time for friends, family, work, and personal pursuits without neglecting any aspect of your life.’
Creating and maintaining strong friendships takes time and effort, but the rewards are invaluable.
See lessWhen someone makes fun of me or puts me down, I sometimes feel too impatient and uncomfortable.
Shaista Ansari
It's completely understandable to feel frustrated and uncomfortable when someone makes fun of you or puts you down. Feeling the urge to respond is a natural reaction, but it's important to remember that reacting impulsively in the moment can sometimes escalate the situation or leave you feeling worsRead more
It’s completely understandable to feel frustrated and uncomfortable when someone makes fun of you or puts you down. Feeling the urge to respond is a natural reaction, but it’s important to remember that reacting impulsively in the moment can sometimes escalate the situation or leave you feeling worse later.
Here are some helpful strategies to deal with these situations and break the cycle of feeling impatient and uncomfortable:
1. Recognize the Trigger:
The first step is to understand what situations typically trigger your feelings of impatience and discomfort. Is it certain types of jokes, specific individuals, or feeling targeted in a group setting? Identifying the triggers can help you anticipate and prepare for them.
2. Choose Your Response, Not React:
When someone makes a hurtful comment, take a moment to breathe and collect yourself before responding. Reacting impulsively might lead to saying something you regret or escalating the situation. Instead, choose a measured and controlled response that sets a healthy boundary.
3. Deflect and Disarm:
Sometimes, humor or deflecting with a witty remark can disarm the person making fun of you and take away their power. For example, you could say something like, “That’s definitely one way to look at it!” or “Thanks for the creative insult, I’ll put it to good use!”
4. Set Boundaries:
If the comment is truly offensive or hurtful, you have the right to set a boundary. You can say something like, “I don’t appreciate that kind of comment. Please stop.” Be firm but assertive, and if the behavior continues, remove yourself from the situation.
5. Address it Later (if needed):
If the situation allows, you can address the issue later when you’ve calmed down. This could involve talking to the person privately and explaining how their comment made you feel. Choose a calm and constructive approach to have a productive conversation.
6. Remember, You Can’t Control Others:
While you can control your own reactions, you cannot control the actions or words of others. Focus on how you can manage your own emotions and responses, rather than trying to change the behavior of the person making fun of you.
7. Build Your Confidence:
Developing strong self-esteem and believing in your own worth can make you less susceptible to hurtful comments. Practice positive self-talk, identify your strengths, and surround yourself with supportive people who value you.
8. Seek Support:
Talking to a therapist or counselor can provide valuable tools and strategies for dealing with difficult situations and managing your emotions. They can also help you build self-confidence and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
Remember, you are not alone in this. Everyone experiences hurtful comments at some point, and it’s important to have healthy ways to deal with them. By practicing these strategies and focusing on your own well-being, you can gain control of your reactions and build resilience in the face of negativity
See lessI feel left out…
Shaista Ansari
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See lessI feel left out…
Shaista Ansari
It's completely understandable that you feel torn between work commitments and wanting to spend time with your friends and family. It's clear that your work is essential, and being a key worker means you play a crucial role in maintaining operations and providing necessary services. Your dedicationRead more
It’s completely understandable that you feel torn between work commitments and wanting to spend time with your friends and family. It’s clear that your work is essential, and being a key worker means you play a crucial role in maintaining operations and providing necessary services. Your dedication and love for your job are commendable.
At the same time, it’s natural to feel a sense of missing out when you have to decline social events due to work commitments. However, it’s essential to recognize that you made this decision because of your responsibilities and the circumstances at work.
Here are a few suggestions to help you manage the situation:
Communication: Talk to your friends and explain your situation honestly. Let them know that you appreciate the invitation and would love to join them if the circumstances at work allow it in the future. Good friends will understand and support your commitments.
Balance: While work is crucial, it’s also essential to find a balance between work and personal life. Look for opportunities to take time off or swap shifts with colleagues to participate in social events occasionally.
Plan Ahead: Try to plan events and outings in advance, so you can request time off from work early and make arrangements for someone to cover your responsibilities during your absence.
Virtual Connection: If you can’t make it to physical gatherings, consider arranging virtual hangouts with your friends and family. It may not be the same as being there in person, but it’s a way to stay connected and involved.
Self-Care: Ensure you take some time for yourself to relax and recharge, even amidst your busy schedule. Finding moments for yourself can help reduce stress and maintain your overall well-being.
Support System: Surround yourself with understanding and supportive friends who comprehend your work commitments. They will be more accommodating and less likely to make you feel left out.
Remember, you’re not alone in facing such challenges. Many key workers have to make sacrifices to fulfill their duties, and it’s essential to find a balance that works for you. Keep your goals and priorities in mind, and don’t hesitate to seek support from friends, family, or colleagues when needed.
See lessHow to have happening relationship with Seafarer?
Shaista Ansari
It sounds like you are in a difficult situation. Being in a relationship with a seafarer can be challenging due to the long periods of time that they are away from home. However, it is important to remember that each person's situation is unique, and what works for one couple may not work for anotheRead more
It sounds like you are in a difficult situation. Being in a relationship with a seafarer can be challenging due to the long periods of time that they are away from home. However, it is important to remember that each person’s situation is unique, and what works for one couple may not work for another. It is ultimately up to you and your partner to decide what is best for your relationship.
In terms of asking your partner to change their profession, it is important to consider whether this is a realistic option for them. Changing careers can be difficult, and it may not be feasible for your partner to do so, especially if they have been working as a seafarer for a long time. Additionally, it is important to remember that your partner’s career is just as important to them as yours is to you, and it may not be fair to ask them to give it up simply because it is difficult for you.
Instead of focusing on changing your partner’s career, you may want to consider finding ways to make the most of the time that you do have together. This could include finding ways to stay connected while they are away, such as through regular phone calls or video chats. You could also try to plan fun activities or trips for when they are home, so that you can make the most of the time that you have together.
Overall, it is important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your concerns and to work together to find solutions that work for both of you. While being in a relationship with a seafarer can be challenging, it is possible to make it work with the right approach and support.
See lessHow to maintain work life balance?
Shaista Ansari
Maintaining a good work-life balance is important for your overall well-being and happiness. Here are a few tips that can help: Set boundaries between work and personal time, and stick to them. This means not checking work emails or taking work calls outside of business hours, for example. Make timeRead more
Maintaining a good work-life balance is important for your overall well-being and happiness. Here are a few tips that can help:
Set boundaries between work and personal time, and stick to them. This means not checking work emails or taking work calls outside of business hours, for example.
See lessMake time for activities and hobbies that you enjoy outside of work. This can help you recharge and bring more balance to your life.
Prioritize your tasks and make sure to focus on the most important ones first. This can help you avoid feeling overwhelmed and stressed.
Don’t be afraid to say “no” to additional work or tasks if you already have a full plate. It’s better to do a few things well than to try to do too much and end up feeling burnt out.
Take regular breaks during the workday to rest and recharge. This can help you stay focused and avoid feeling overwhelmed.
Seek support from friends, family, or a professional if you’re struggling to maintain a healthy work-life balance.
Need Friends in Bengluru
Shaista Ansari
Hi Shivam, There is website and app meetup.com. It has lot of option and groups to meet with new people and make new friends. Just explore the meetup groups in Bangalore and I hope you will find many new friends and such groups .All the best
Hi Shivam,
See lessThere is website and app meetup.com. It has lot of option and groups to meet with new people and make new friends. Just explore the meetup groups in Bangalore and I hope you will find many new friends and such groups .All the best
Breakup advice
Shaista Ansari
Many of us have experienced it. We expected this relationship to last forever. We saw a future with this person, we trusted this person, we invested in this relationship, and we had a lot of fun. But, for whatever reason, the relationship is no longer working. And now we're back at square one, singlRead more
Many of us have experienced it. We expected this relationship to last forever. We saw a future with this person, we trusted this person, we invested in this relationship, and we had a lot of fun. But, for whatever reason, the relationship is no longer working. And now we’re back at square one, single, lonely, and yearning. After a breakup, we often feel miserable and heartbroken, full of worry and dread. How can we make the breakup as easy on ourselves as possible while still dealing as much as we need to?
Some argue that there is nothing more painful than the aftermath of a breakup, and that healing takes time.
Mourning the good times is a completely normal part of grieving the end of a relationship; however, thinking only about the good times can actually make getting over the relationship more difficult. Thinking about the good times and fantasies of what could have been can skew one’s perspective on the relationship, allowing fantasy to overtake reality.
– Consider Your Dreams And Their Emotional Impact :
Begin to notice when you are thinking about the relationship and track your feelings of heartbreak after a breakup. What happens to your thoughts? How often do you find yourself watching the “highlight reel” and fantasizing about what could have been? Most importantly, how does it make you feel?
If you notice that your fantasies about what could have been are making you feel worse, this is a sign that they are impeding your healing. The more we think about something, the more it becomes ingrained in our minds.
– Concentrate On The Difficulties To Let Go
“Let it go,” or “get over it,” is one of the most overused phrases well-meaning friends say in times of loss. To begin with, this advice is sometimes perceived as insensitive. After all, if you could “let it go” so easily, wouldn’t you? Nonetheless, many of us desire to do so. Let go. But we just don’t know how.
The best way to encourage the process of letting go is to become more aware of how you want to let go of the relationship.
As soothing as the “highlight reel” can be, it seldom encompasses the realities that likely played a key role in the relationship ending. Focusing on what was negative about the relationship allows you to begin integrating the relationship as a whole.
Even if you’re not ready to let go… Set the tone for your upcoming relationship.
The ultimate litmus test for letting go of a relationship is being prepared for a better one. You don’t have to wait until you’re ready to set the tone, either. Even if you aren’t ready to start dating again, you can use the above process to think about what you want in a future relationship. Here are a few suggestions:
1. Make a list of everything you’ve learned from your previous relationship.
2. Write down how you want to act differently in your next relationship.
3. Describe the type of person who would be a good match for you and who you would prefer in a relationship.
Write out anything else you’d ideally like to have in a relationship, in light of the fantasies and realities from the previous relationship.
Make it real by talking it out with a trusted confidante.
Yes, dealing with the pieces that fall apart after a breakup is difficult, and it is a process of re-balancing your heart and your head that takes time and effort, but believe it or not, you will be able to let go of feeling heartbroken after a breakup.
As much as falling in love is about losing awareness of our beloved’s flaws, falling out of love is about re-emphasizing those flaws and recognizing how untenable they were. Working through fantasies and being honest about realities will eventually lead to you being stronger in general and specifically preparing you for your next, better relationship.
See lessHow can I reduce my anxiety and overthinking?
Shaista Ansari
It is normal to experience anxiety and overthinking. 1. When we are happy, we smile; when we are sad, we frown; when things do not go our way, we become angry; and when we do not manage stress and time well, we reach this point. You, like millions of other people on the planet, are perfectly normal.Read more
It is normal to experience anxiety and overthinking.
1. When we are happy, we smile; when we are sad, we frown; when things do not go our way, we become angry; and when we do not manage stress and time well, we reach this point. You, like millions of other people on the planet, are perfectly normal.
2. Write down all of your dreams and tasks (funny or strange) in a diary and begin fulfilling them right away because you need to spend time with yourself when you are overthinking and anxious. You require a change. Change is an unavoidable occurrence.
3. Go to the hills by yourself and begin recording your fear and pain. Remove them. You may speak if you require a listener rather than sympathy or a solution. Nobody can provide you with a concrete solution to your problem. You must figure it out for yourself.
4. Make an effort not to ruin your life. Your parents have bestowed upon you the gift of life. We have no right to sabotage it. t’s time to give our parents the same or better life they gave us when we were kids, because as they get older, the roles reverse.
5. Take up a sport or a musical instrument. Its ok! Stuff happens! You are not by yourself. Spend your time learning music or participating in sports. Speak with people who have overcome depression. Spend time with them. Consult with your family.
See lessAm I thinking too much?
Shaista Ansari
You may be subject to a curfew, chores, college, and responsibilities. And you're probably going to get punished if you don't keep them, right? Parents are no exception. When a parent refuses to "adult," natural consequences should follow. They lose jobs, waste money, become enraged, and take it outRead more
You may be subject to a curfew, chores, college, and responsibilities. And you’re probably going to get punished if you don’t keep them, right? Parents are no exception. When a parent refuses to “adult,” natural consequences should follow. They lose jobs, waste money, become enraged, and take it out on those around them. They frequently attempt to force the rest of their family to do the work or pay the price. They will point the finger at everyone else for their problems. They will also blame their drinking on others. The trick is to recognize this pattern of behavior and refuse to play the mind games that alcoholics engage in.
There is hope, but you cannot achieve it.Al-Anon is a support group for alcoholics’ families and friends (also, AlaTeen). It is widespread. A meeting near you can be found. It is not “Alcoholics Anonymous,” which is for people who are alcoholics. It is intended for those who have been impacted by the drinking of others. Meetings and assistance are always provided at no cost. You will gain valuable new skills and be able to alter your behavior around the alcoholic. You can also look up resources online to learn how to stop the alcoholic from yanking your family around. It is not simple. However, if you do nothing, the situation will worsen. Al-Anon will teach your entire family how to do this. Your father will have to make a decision because He will be very uncomfortable if you change your behavior to stop accommodating him. you should not lose hope. All the best.
https://al-anon.org/newcomers/teen-corner-alateen/
See less