It’s completely understandable to feel frustrated and uncomfortable when someone makes fun of you or puts you down. Feeling the urge to respond is a natural reaction, but it’s important to remember that reacting impulsively in the moment can sometimes escalate the situation or leave you feeling worse later.

Here are some helpful strategies to deal with these situations and break the cycle of feeling impatient and uncomfortable:

1. Recognize the Trigger:

The first step is to understand what situations typically trigger your feelings of impatience and discomfort. Is it certain types of jokes, specific individuals, or feeling targeted in a group setting? Identifying the triggers can help you anticipate and prepare for them.

2. Choose Your Response, Not React:

When someone makes a hurtful comment, take a moment to breathe and collect yourself before responding. Reacting impulsively might lead to saying something you regret or escalating the situation. Instead, choose a measured and controlled response that sets a healthy boundary.

3. Deflect and Disarm:

Sometimes, humor or deflecting with a witty remark can disarm the person making fun of you and take away their power. For example, you could say something like, “That’s definitely one way to look at it!” or “Thanks for the creative insult, I’ll put it to good use!”

4. Set Boundaries:

If the comment is truly offensive or hurtful, you have the right to set a boundary. You can say something like, “I don’t appreciate that kind of comment. Please stop.” Be firm but assertive, and if the behavior continues, remove yourself from the situation.

5. Address it Later (if needed):

If the situation allows, you can address the issue later when you’ve calmed down. This could involve talking to the person privately and explaining how their comment made you feel. Choose a calm and constructive approach to have a productive conversation.

6. Remember, You Can’t Control Others:

While you can control your own reactions, you cannot control the actions or words of others. Focus on how you can manage your own emotions and responses, rather than trying to change the behavior of the person making fun of you.

7. Build Your Confidence:

Developing strong self-esteem and believing in your own worth can make you less susceptible to hurtful comments. Practice positive self-talk, identify your strengths, and surround yourself with supportive people who value you.

8. Seek Support:

Talking to a therapist or counselor can provide valuable tools and strategies for dealing with difficult situations and managing your emotions. They can also help you build self-confidence and develop healthy coping mechanisms.

Remember, you are not alone in this. Everyone experiences hurtful comments at some point, and it’s important to have healthy ways to deal with them. By practicing these strategies and focusing on your own well-being, you can gain control of your reactions and build resilience in the face of negativity

It sounds like you are in a difficult situation. Being in a relationship with a seafarer can be challenging due to the long periods of time that they are away from home. However, it is important to remember that each person’s situation is unique, and what works for one couple may not work for another. It is ultimately up to you and your partner to decide what is best for your relationship.

In terms of asking your partner to change their profession, it is important to consider whether this is a realistic option for them. Changing careers can be difficult, and it may not be feasible for your partner to do so, especially if they have been working as a seafarer for a long time. Additionally, it is important to remember that your partner’s career is just as important to them as yours is to you, and it may not be fair to ask them to give it up simply because it is difficult for you.

Instead of focusing on changing your partner’s career, you may want to consider finding ways to make the most of the time that you do have together. This could include finding ways to stay connected while they are away, such as through regular phone calls or video chats. You could also try to plan fun activities or trips for when they are home, so that you can make the most of the time that you have together.

Overall, it is important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your concerns and to work together to find solutions that work for both of you. While being in a relationship with a seafarer can be challenging, it is possible to make it work with the right approach and support.